Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
