this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize
