I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
The Olympian is in my bed
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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