just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
It's blow job season.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
