My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
