don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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