yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
You are the jesus of drinking
If I die, sorry about rent.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
