TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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