okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
