Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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