woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
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