he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I have feelings that need drinking.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize