I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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