the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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