i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize