One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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