I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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