You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
