his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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