I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Plan B is the new Plan A
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Come see our sink grown plant.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
