I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Come see our sink grown plant.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
