I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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