Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
she smelled like a LAN party
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Randomize