He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
