loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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