But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
