ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Randomize
