Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
