Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
