I just made out with a guy for $7.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
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