i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Randomize
