We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
