We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
