you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Randomize
