Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Randomize
