How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
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