i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
