what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
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