Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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