Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I have already put on my inside pants.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
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