I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
