Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
