Can i not drive my cunt home
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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