The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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