CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
