Umm I'm too high to move.
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I'm going to jail i love you
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
