Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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