you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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