dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
