so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize