marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
