I didn't shave. On purpose
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
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