go do what you do best...puke behind churches
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
