now i know why i became what i already was.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
