wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
