He kissed a someone with a penis
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
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