He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Randomize
