Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
