Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
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