she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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