This is not my ceiling
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
