you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
