the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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